Budget Smarts

I am back to e-blogger! The thing I liked about Xanga is no longer available- so here I am.


Saving Money #1

I've decided to write about budgets and saving money for a while. I find the topic very important. It's very near to my heart. I'm not sure quite yet WHY it is, but it is. I see so many people hurting financially. I hurt with them. I see so many moms that want to stay home but can't. My heart breaks with them. Of course there are plenty of moms that DON'T want to and I can see why. Believe me. I can see why someone wouldn't want to do that, hehe. But for some reason, I do. And many other women do, too. Yes, there are moms who are the sole provider or are single, etc. But there is a small part of me that thinks that more moms (that want to) could stay home if they made some changes in how they used their money.

For me it isn't that hard b/c I've always been a saver. When my sister and I were kids, we would get Christmas money from Grandma. I would save mine. She would spend hers. I don't know why, but part of me is naturally frugal and a saver. I'm being honest when I think that's just how God designed me.

When Aaron and I got married, we set up a computerized budget not long after. It was good and really interesting to see where we were spending our money. You can categorize your budget however you want and there are a lot of options. Some of our categories are groceries, gas,savings, eating out, utilities, toiletries, rent (then mortgage), etc. Some new categories we've added recently are a BABYSITTING fund b/c it really is nice to get out of the house just the two of us a couple times a month and since we don't have family in town, we have to pay a sitter. We also added a hospitality fund for hosting things or bringing food to events so it didn't seem like a burden and was more of a privilege. I got that idea at a women's conference recently.

Regardless of what categories one chooses, the important thing is to know how you're spending your money. Look at your income, then allocate money to bills and different areas accordingly. If you do this, you aren't spending money you don't have. It can keep you from falling into the trap of our country and going into DEBT!! I hate that word. Debt really is restrictive. If you want to be a SAHM (Stay at home mom) or just want to stop being mastered by your finances, get out of debt ASAP! Start a budget!

Take into consideration that I am ultra conservative with money at times. Not always, but in some sense, yes. Which is good b/c Aaron works hard to bring home a paycheck every month and I work hard to spend it wisely! And when I was working and we lived in our apartment, we tried to live off of just one income in preparation for having a baby and save as much as possible. God has really blessed us us.
That said, If I had a debt to pay off (college, car, credit card, etc.), I think I'd rather go without certain things (like cable, smart phones, nice clothes, new danskos, a trip to Japan, etc.) and put that money towards the debt. I know, I'm WEIRD!! A very low percentage of people would actually do this. But what if....... people really did this??

What if we lived within our means?!?! Imagine what could happen. Interesting concept. More to come. This is one of my favorite verses in regards to how God would have us use our money:

"Honor the Lord with your wealth. With the first fruits of all your crops; then your bars will be filled to overflowing, and your vats will brim over with new wine." Proverbs 3:9-10

What does honoring the Lord with your money mean? Could be different for each person. Not something I can tell you. But I think I know what it looks like for us right now and we continue to pray to be wise stewards of our resources and money.

xanga

I decided to switch back to Xanga! I miss it and think that it has better features than e-blogger.

If you wanna keep reading- come see me there: http://gabalonias.xanga.com/weblogpreview

Adios!

Happy Birthday Mateo

It's Mateo's birthday and Grandma and Grandpa are coming up and we're meeting Dad for lunch. If I'm feeling ambitious later then I might take him to the carousel. We'll see!!

Tomorrow Mateo goes in for his 12 month well baby check but a few days ago he was 20 pounds 5 ounces and I'm feeling every pound. I feel eager for him to start walking so that I don't have to carry him as much- but I know that I'm supposed to enjoy every stage. He did start crawling a few weeks ago finally- so that's good.

I guess I didn't crawl 'til I was almost a year old, too, so maybe we are just late crawlers in my family. My niece (full term) didn't walk 'til she was 14 months. It will all come soon enough! I need to baby proof the kitchen. His record number of steps by himself is 8- although it was more like running, lol. The living room, hallway, and his and our bedroom are fine for him (unless he crawls under something and gets stuck) The office is off limits unless we are right by him b/c that is like our junk room and there are lots of things to get into. I vaccum and sweep quite a bit- but I'm starting to be OK with him eating a piece of dirt, crumb, or even a bug here and there (he tried to do that this morning- but fortunately I snatched it quickly.)

I suppose my next blog post will be reflections on the first year of motherhood. But the biggest thing I think I've learned is that we are not in control of everything like we sometimes want to be or think we are. God is sovereign and mighty and he is not just passively letting things happen. He is working in the hearts of his followers. It's not always fun- but he never promised things would be fun. He did promise that He'd never leave us and that I've found to be true.
Things aren't always fair on earth. For example:

You can be a smoking mom who doesn't get prenatal care and have a healthy baby or you can be a healthy mom who takes all the precautions and have a preemie (sounds familiar ;)

You can eat healthier and exercise more than any of your buddies and still struggle with your weight b/c that's just your build (thinking of the hubs- but he's lost almost 50 lbs. since we got married and I'm really proud of him!)

You can floss and brush and not drink soda and still have a mouthful of cavities....or you can never take care of your teeth or go to the dentist and be fine.

You can have a great sleep schedule, awesome routines, and a peaceful environment and still get a cranky baby.....or you can live in complete chaos and have the happiest kid on the block.

What I'm striving to do is to stop asking "WHY?" all the time and just count my blessings. It's often not in our realm of powers. It's not always our fault. Luke 13:1-5 or so was illustrating this to me last week.

Luke 13 Repent or Perish

¹Now there were some present at that time who told Jesus about the Galileans whose blood Pilate had mixed with their sacrifices. ²Jesus answered, "Do you think that these Galileans were worse sinners than all the other Galileans because they suffered this way? ³I tell you, no! But unless you repent, you too will all perish. ⁴Or those eighteen who died when the tower in Siloam fell on them—do you think they were more guilty than all the others living in Jerusalem? ⁵I tell you, no! But unless you repent, you too will all perish."

Of course many things that happen to us are consequences of our actions. Say your house goes into foreclosure. Could be that you made poor financial decisions and used your money unwisely. Could also be that you lost your job with no fault of your own.

I will always wonder why Mateo was born so early. I try not to wonder too much or too often, but there will always be a part of me that wants to know. I get asked that question a LOT and I really don't know what to say b/c I really have NO explanation for the event. We are praying for (potential) kiddo two even before I'm pregnant. Praying hard. I'm also studying up on VBACS (vaginal birth after c-section) to possibly avoid another C-section if it's not necessary. Lots to learn.

But now it's time to go love on my little baby who's really not that little anymore and who will be a toddler before I know it. Being a stay at home mom has been harder for me than I ever thought it would be...but I'm really thankful, too.

Today is all about being thankful to God. He's brought Mateo so far. I hate looking at the NICU pictures. It breaks my heart all over again. But I know that Aaron and I will probably look at them later anyways...and praise God.

Happy Birthday, Mateo! There were times when I didn't think I'd live long enough to see this day, lol. :p

anniversary

I gotta make this QUICK. Mateo is waking up from a (SHORT!) nap so I need to go get him up in a minute. Short naps make for loooong afternoons. I understand why some moms don't want to be stay-at-home moms. But at the same time I can't imagine being away from him for 10 hours a day! His day is only 12 hours long- so that wouldn't make for much time together. We may need to get out of the house. Only thing...

Mateito has pink eye :( It's really the first time that he's been sick. I had a cold and he got a runny nose but it wasn't a big deal 'til the eyes gooped up. Poor guy but it doesn't seem to bother him too much and the eye drops are taking effect. So I will probably just take him for a walk. It's warm out! For me, 75 is the perfect temp. Much hotter than that and I start to melt.

Today is Aaron and my 3rd anniversary!! And guess who came home on his lunch break to deliver the LARGEST bouquet of purple wild flowers I have ever seen! Yup! He's such a sweetie. And I found a really long letter awaiting me on the breakfast table this morning.
It's been quite a trying year for us- but we agree that we're still the corniest couple on the block and I honestly do love Aaron more every day if that is even possible. Praise God. With him in the center everything is possible. I love, love, love having a hubby who I can pray with, read the bible with, go to church with, and grow in Christ with. It is great.

Along that note- a friend from church is gonna come over later after we put the little one to sleep and we're gonna go out on a hot date, lol. Well we are just gonna go out to dinner and walk around downtown- but it's not something we get to do by ourselves hardly ever- so we're looking forward to it.

Oh and Mateo turns ONE tomorrow! I am remembering the scariest day of my life!! Hopefully it will remain the scariest. Most people say having their babies was the "happiest day of their life" or something like that- but I'm realizing that my experience is much different than most. Oh well. That's life.

Will talk more about Mateo tomorrow...he is calling for da da right now but will have to settle for ma ma.

Ciao

iPod

So yes, it's been two months since I've blogged. My only excuse is that Aaron got me an iPod touch and now I really don't use the computer as much-just to update our budget, do banking, upload pics, etc. And I'm not about to type a blog post on the little iPod touch. I'm not that advanced yet. Maybe someday.

Anyways- It's June and there is anticipation everywhere for the end of the school year. I have no anticipation or stress about it this year seeing as how I'm not teaching and how once school is out things will be no different for my family. Come next school year there will be some changes, though, and I will probably choose to sub a few 1/2 days a week. Although I kind of want to work 1/2 time, I don't think I'm supposed to.

I was unofficially told about a 1/2 time kinder position in a bilingual dual language school. Yes, working in a dual language school is my dream job. But not now. And not in kinder. It just doesn't seem like the right time. I strongly feel that God wants me to focus on my family right now. He knows what I am like when I'm teaching. It partially consumes me. Although I love the kids, I'm sensing that I should be with my own kids right now. God has blessed us financially (not necessarily with lots of money- but with wisdom in financial decisions, budget smarts, etc.) and we've made it 9 months off of one income. Praise God. And we really do have all we need. There is that difference between want and need that must be differentiated.

Subbing would appear to be a good alternate source of income. It is a good hourly wage, requires no "outside" work, can be flexible, and still would allow me to use my degree and "talents" per say. On the flip side, you won't know from day to day or week to week where you will be working. That could possibly be seen as both an advantage and a disadvantage.

Now the big hurdle....finding someone we trust who could watch Mateo a few 1/2 days a week...and would be flexible with scheduling. Commercial day care is out. Looking in to babysitters or home day care. I'm very picky, though, as it is my baby who I'd be leaving.

But my "baby" will be 14 months by then!! My goodness.

What else is new....
I'm co-leading a Beth Moore Bible study that I LOVE!!! It's on the book of Daniel in the Old Testament and I never could've imagined gleaning so much from God through this one book! I look forward to going every week and it is some good re-charging time away from home and with other believers.

It's my month to teach the kiddos at church- so lots of planning of lessons- trying to sneak some planning in during naps so I don't have to use up hubby time at night. We'll see how that pans out!

Mateo's bday party is approaching! Making some decor for that and planning out a healthy bday cake for him (and a non-healthy one for everybody else, lol.) Can't believe we survived a year! Looking forward to going from surviving to thriving as a parent and mama.

Aaron and my anniversary is this month! Someone also volunteered to come over so that we could go out to dinner!! Yipee! And last week we got to go see a movie. Babysitters (especially free ones) are the best!

Well I am hosting a baby play group in a little bit- gonna go make sure the living room is baby proofed :)

Will try to write more this month.

In love........

Since I spent most of my last blog saying what was difficult about Mateo, this post will focus on how.....
I just love Mateo SO much. He is so precious to us. When he wakes up for the day with a toothy grin and a sweet coo, I melt. When he laughs and plays with us, I melt. When he nestles into your shirt as he gets sleepy and ready for a nap...I melt. When he holds on to our fingers and walks around the house...we are in love. We were watching Mateo feed himself a cheerio the other day and almost started crying....b/c this little baby that could not even eat enough to survive when he was born and had to have a feeding tube that they fed him my milk through...... can now feed himself.

I recently watched Fried Green Tomatoes with some of the ladies from my bible study. I had actually never seen that movie. I know, weird- right? Well if you have seen it... you remember how Ruth's dead-beat husband throws her down the stairs preggo. My blood boiled. Then he came back and wanted to kidnap the baby. My blood boiled even more. Every since Mateo was born, my motherly instinct to protect and defend had kicked in and I hate to see those kind of scenes in movies where the innocent baby is in danger..

I know I can't protect Mateo from everything in life, but that is still every mom's desire. And I can love him.... a lot.

Mommyhood

I was asking Aaron the other day why we had such a difficult baby. He said b/c God knew we could handle it. Aaron's usually right. But I still don't understand. We have been able to handle and endure quite a bit, by God's grace, but I am tired.

• My baby is 9 months old and still doesn't sleep through the night. Which means that I still don't sleep through the night. The pediatrician and lactation nurse says this is still in the realm of "normal".
  
• He's a finicky eater and most meals are trying unless they involve one of the favorite (banana, sweet potato, or avocado).
• He is not independent and requires a lot of attention. Which means he only plays for 10 minutes at a time by himself w/o needing my intervention.
  
• I have to choose not to do a lot of things b/c I know it's not something that I could bring Mateo to practically.
• He fusses, grunts, cries, etc. WAY more than any baby I have ever met.
  

It's a good thing that he is cute and that he smiles and laughs a lot now. And even though he is not a huge napper, he still takes two fairly regular naps a day- for an hour long or so. Which means I have at least 2 hours of Mateo-free time during the day.... my only saving grace.

I say all these things complaining about my child, but I also feel very fortunate for this bundle of cuteness. I am thankful also that we've tweaked our budget enough for me to be able to stay home full time this year. God has grown Mateo so much from the tiny 4 pound 4 ounce baby into a strong 18 pound baby who will soon be running around the house. Even though he is difficult, I don't think I could love anything any more. The heart of a mother overflows with love for her child. This really makes me understand how much God loves His children...even more than I love my child. AMAZING!

"The Father has loved us so much that we are called children of God. And we really are his children." 1 John 3:1

So I accept this challenge. Through sleep deprivation, hair pulling, biting, crying, and fussiness, I accept the challenge of motherhood....really not knowing what I'm in for in the long run. Maybe when Mateo is a teenager and goes through his "hating the parents" stage, I will wish for those baby days when he was so clingy and wanted so much to be with mommy all day long. Maybe.