Happy Birthday Mateo

It's Mateo's birthday and Grandma and Grandpa are coming up and we're meeting Dad for lunch. If I'm feeling ambitious later then I might take him to the carousel. We'll see!!

Tomorrow Mateo goes in for his 12 month well baby check but a few days ago he was 20 pounds 5 ounces and I'm feeling every pound. I feel eager for him to start walking so that I don't have to carry him as much- but I know that I'm supposed to enjoy every stage. He did start crawling a few weeks ago finally- so that's good.

I guess I didn't crawl 'til I was almost a year old, too, so maybe we are just late crawlers in my family. My niece (full term) didn't walk 'til she was 14 months. It will all come soon enough! I need to baby proof the kitchen. His record number of steps by himself is 8- although it was more like running, lol. The living room, hallway, and his and our bedroom are fine for him (unless he crawls under something and gets stuck) The office is off limits unless we are right by him b/c that is like our junk room and there are lots of things to get into. I vaccum and sweep quite a bit- but I'm starting to be OK with him eating a piece of dirt, crumb, or even a bug here and there (he tried to do that this morning- but fortunately I snatched it quickly.)

I suppose my next blog post will be reflections on the first year of motherhood. But the biggest thing I think I've learned is that we are not in control of everything like we sometimes want to be or think we are. God is sovereign and mighty and he is not just passively letting things happen. He is working in the hearts of his followers. It's not always fun- but he never promised things would be fun. He did promise that He'd never leave us and that I've found to be true.
Things aren't always fair on earth. For example:

You can be a smoking mom who doesn't get prenatal care and have a healthy baby or you can be a healthy mom who takes all the precautions and have a preemie (sounds familiar ;)

You can eat healthier and exercise more than any of your buddies and still struggle with your weight b/c that's just your build (thinking of the hubs- but he's lost almost 50 lbs. since we got married and I'm really proud of him!)

You can floss and brush and not drink soda and still have a mouthful of cavities....or you can never take care of your teeth or go to the dentist and be fine.

You can have a great sleep schedule, awesome routines, and a peaceful environment and still get a cranky baby.....or you can live in complete chaos and have the happiest kid on the block.

What I'm striving to do is to stop asking "WHY?" all the time and just count my blessings. It's often not in our realm of powers. It's not always our fault. Luke 13:1-5 or so was illustrating this to me last week.

Luke 13 Repent or Perish

¹Now there were some present at that time who told Jesus about the Galileans whose blood Pilate had mixed with their sacrifices. ²Jesus answered, "Do you think that these Galileans were worse sinners than all the other Galileans because they suffered this way? ³I tell you, no! But unless you repent, you too will all perish. ⁴Or those eighteen who died when the tower in Siloam fell on them—do you think they were more guilty than all the others living in Jerusalem? ⁵I tell you, no! But unless you repent, you too will all perish."

Of course many things that happen to us are consequences of our actions. Say your house goes into foreclosure. Could be that you made poor financial decisions and used your money unwisely. Could also be that you lost your job with no fault of your own.

I will always wonder why Mateo was born so early. I try not to wonder too much or too often, but there will always be a part of me that wants to know. I get asked that question a LOT and I really don't know what to say b/c I really have NO explanation for the event. We are praying for (potential) kiddo two even before I'm pregnant. Praying hard. I'm also studying up on VBACS (vaginal birth after c-section) to possibly avoid another C-section if it's not necessary. Lots to learn.

But now it's time to go love on my little baby who's really not that little anymore and who will be a toddler before I know it. Being a stay at home mom has been harder for me than I ever thought it would be...but I'm really thankful, too.

Today is all about being thankful to God. He's brought Mateo so far. I hate looking at the NICU pictures. It breaks my heart all over again. But I know that Aaron and I will probably look at them later anyways...and praise God.

Happy Birthday, Mateo! There were times when I didn't think I'd live long enough to see this day, lol. :p