I'm experiencing a new level of tired. It's so foreign to me to have Aaron out. Poor guy had his appendix out on Monday. He's not supposed to lift anything over 10 lbs for THREE WEEKS! And that also means no basketball (which he loves...) Hate seeing him like this. As Mateo prayed today..."I pray Daddy's band aids all better. Daddy pick up Mateo more more times.". I feel bad that it's sometimes chaotic at home during the day, though I try my best to lock him in the bed room to rest/watch Netflix/play PS3. He's just not very good at resting (says the mom who probably won't take a nap til 2017 when both boys are in school...). And of course I'd be lying if I didn't admit that this whole thing has been hard on me, too. I'm somewhat used to really long days with cranky baby and toddler- but I could at least count on an extra set of hands in the evening. I'm trying to power through though running out of steam.
Though...I do believe that age old saying that God won't give you more than you can handle. [Check out this song by Matthew West...one of my favs...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8JsRxVczm] We will never be strong enough for life on our own...but God will be strong for us. I do sure weird things would stop happening to us. Early baby, c section, hospital, colicky baby, stomach flu, cold, Aaron's ear infection, Mateo's croup, almost Mastitis,
Aaron's appendix. Seems like when one thing gets easier then something else begins. Alex has fallen into a bedtime routine the last week or two. Life just got easier, right? Well yes but then your husband spends the night in the ER and has his appendix out. And the doctor comes out...not just any doctor but the chief of surgery...to talk to you and you think something went terribly wrong...but turns out he just wanted me to know that the surgery went fine. Sheesh!
But Aaron and I don't like to camp out in self pity for long. Sometimes it's necessary while you process things. But there is no productivity in self pity or feeling sorry for yourself. Taking the focus away from you sure does help keep things in perspective. Trying to help other people does help you to remember what life is all about. We are incredibly blessed beyond explanation.
And at least....thank God for those mercies we never notice.... that Aaron's didn't get appendicitis while I was having a baby! Or during Alex' hospital stay. It could have been much worse. And at least .... I'm healthy as an ox right now to take care of everything...though I admit that if I don't get a little more sleep I don't know how much longer I can keep it up! Alex is still up 2-3 times a night so my consecutive hours of sleep are pretty low. BUT...he has a bed time!! Baby free evenings are back!! woot!
Small blessings. A new theme. A mantra maybe. We aren't given more than we can handle. A rather large blessing for me has been my Mama friends, without whom I might have failed miserably at this Mama/Homemaker gig. I have many reasons to be thankful for those Mamas (and you know who you are....). Here are a few:
1. You have that someone to text when you need a pep talk about breastfeeding. It's that friend who will be just tough enough on you to help you push through and not give up.
2. It's the friend who gets up to go mall walking- regardless if either of you slept the night before. Just because it feels good to get some exercise while the kids are strapped in...and just because it feels better to chat/vent/share stories/encourage.
3. It's the mom who knows everything about cloth diapers and everything green or healthy. You facebook them with a few too many questions each month hoping they won't get completely annoyed and de friend you. But they don't and they graciously answer all of your questions. I love to learn.
4. It's the mom who you text when there is a breakthrough (or a meltdown). So and so is asleep!! Miracle!! So and so has been wearing real underwear all day!! Amazing! Those texts to share those little moments that only a mom would understand.
5. It's the moms who are home all day with their kids and are really the only ones who can possibly understand what that's like. They understand why you might be going a little crazy that day, why you might need to get out of the house, vent, eat chocolate, ________ etc.
6. It's the moms who drop off a coffee or cookies for you when you're stuck at home taking care of a recovering husband and two little ones.
7. It's your own mom who is just like Martha Stuart (minus the felon part) who you call with cooking questions a little too often...
8. The moms who share yummy recipes with you!!
9. And the moms who are fellow couponers!!
10. It is the moms who don't judge. Breast vs. bottle, cloth vs. disposables, homemade vs. jarred babyfood, organic vs. regular. It does matter but it doesn't matter.
http://630andaglassofwine.bangordailynews.com/2011/12/07/married-life/im-a-good-mother-youre-a-good-mother/ <---a friend just shared this link...quite entertaining!
We all have convictions and resolve to do things a certain way. I think that's good...though I'm always open for learning new things regarding homemaking and mommy-hood. And sometimes (just admit it!) we have no idea what we're doing at all. But that's what friends are for. To support us when we need it, encourage us or convict us when we need it, teach us stuff and share ideas, to bring us cookies when we need it, and to just be there.
I don't have family in town. I don't even have a lot of friends comparably, but a few good mama friends make all the difference.
