Our No-Spend Weekend of Margin

We had a lovely weekend. 

There was absolutely nothing written down in my planner and that was a wonderful feeling after a full week.  Some of my kids were a bit worn out from their busy week.  They needed a reset, a little extra sleep, some down time, some refueling, and some time in nature.  

It's something I don't think families are good at anymore.  Many don't know how to embrace *Margin* in the schedule but fear it instead.  However,  I'd argue that it is a wonderful thing to learn how to rest and recreate well together.  It might take some retraining of the mind.  Some embracing. A change of perspective.

Just because we didn't have anything scheduled doesn't mean we didn't do anything at all.  Having *Margin* gave us time for 

• helping neighbors,
• going for a nature walk,
• meandering at our neighborhood park
• cooking wholesome meals
• catching up around the house and yard
• playing games together
• participating in our church community
• We also did a city-organized urban walk.  It was different and fun. I loved it.  

Urban City Walk

Nature Reserve Walk

      

None of these things cost any money, either!  

It's a lie that we have to spend a lot of money to have fun and make memories as a family.  It's just not true.  There are so many free local things you can do to spend time with your people! 

🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲

If you are always ending the weekend burnt out, why not take a few things off of your schedule and do something refueling...even if that means catching up at home and taking a nap.  💙

Grocery Challenge- Family of 6 Style

New Year.  New intentions, right? 

We have kept a categorized budget on our computer where we keep track of our spending since we got married. It has been the key to living debt free.  

For the last several years, I started combining grocers/toiletries/supplies all into one lump category.  I wouldn't say I got "lazy" I just sort of stop itemizing out the different things I got at the grocery store. We always stayed with our budget but I just wasn't as specific.  I also started getting groceries more often...5 or 6 times a month.  This isn't bad. Especially when I have 4 kids and a niece living at my house....including 2 teenage boys. But for January I decided to break up the budget to itemize more specifically.  

I also decided to only get groceries once a week: ideally when my kids were home to help with this process.  This means that sometimes we'd run out of certain items and need to improvise or not have our favorites.  If we run low on fresh vegetables toward the end of the week, we always have frozen vegetables in the freezer to use.  They are second best and healthier than canned. The exercise is a good reminder in delayed gratification, being intentional and creative, and planning ahead. 

For January, we spent $987 on food for our family of 6 / 7 (my niece only eats with us sometimes and I just couldn't resist). This was without stocking up on staples. There were no holidays, birthdays, or trips for us. We didn't eat out in January, either, so this is all of our meals and snacks.  We get the majority of our food at Walmart. We also utilize Grocery Outlet for some snack food. An occasional item elsewhere. 

Anyways, that is unfortunately a really good frugal amount for our family size even though it seems like an astronomical amount compared to recent years.  A family of 6 on SNAP can get up to $1400 a month. Even AI says that a thrifty budget estimate for 6 people is 1450-1650.   I know in an ordinary month when I am not being so meticulous and using things up, we spend quite a bit more even with making all our food at home.  And as I have more and more teens in the coming years, and food continuing to increase in price...this challenge is sticking around.

Living within or under budget has helped us survive in meager seasons. In more abundant seasons it has helped us meet financial goals.  

Here are a six reasons we are able to keep a frugal budget for our grocery bill:

1) I make a monthly meal plan for dinners.  Many things on rotation, room for creativity, but structure to help any busy family.  We also have a breakfast rotation.  I have a year's worth of black monthly calendars and a few days before each month I sit down and conquer this task. Many things repeat but there is always room for creativity and I often will draw arrows to switch meals when life happens or if I don't have all the ingredients when the day comes.  Monday is spaghetti theme, Friday is homemade pizza theme, etc. 

2) I order my groceries online from Walmart Grocery Delivery. This saves me an incredible amount of time. Because we spend a lot of time preparing food for our family, taking away the time of in person grocery shopping is a wonderful provision for us.  I don't live near a Walmart so the gas savings alone makes it worth the annual fee.  I try to plan delivery when my kids are around to help.  I am able to make an intentional virtual cart and add things throughout the week if we run out, when I'm meal planing, etc.  I can compare price per ounce from the comfort of my home. It also decreases impulse buys. 

3) I buy generic brands whenever possible. 

4) I buy whole ingredients such as dry beans, rice, lentils, popcorn kernels, and flour that you can cook or bake with.  Making things from scratch takes more time but you get a higher volume of food from a bag of dry beans than from a can.   I make several types of beans from scratch, my husband makes homemade popcorn for us regularly, and we bake our own waffles/pancakes/muffins/pizza from scratch.  Another reason this helps us is because we have a ton of allergies in the family to work around.  When we make things from scratch we are in control of the ingredients. 

5) We prepare our food at home.  We pack lunch and coffee from home for work and school.  We pack snacks if needed when going out.  I make dinner at home.   Sometimes portable style to take to a game or meet. 

6) We don't buy much junk food.  We buy pretzels and tortilla chips.  But we don't buy candy, cookies, soda, sugary drinks, or potato chips, etc. They hold no nutritional value and are empty $$ wasters.  If my older kids want cookies they are allowed to bake some themselves from scratch. Consequently my teens all like to and know how to bake.  My younger kids enjoy helping us bake.  We also always have frozen berries and things to make a smoothie.  I promise they have all have plenty of snack food. We sometimes can get granola bars at Grocery Outlet when they're a good price. They are helpful for packing. 

What is your best money saver for budgeting food costs for yourself or your family? Would you try a No-Spend Challenge: Pantry-Only Week?? This graphic from @InspiredBudget has some cool ideas on how to do it, too. 

Reverse Advent Calendar

 Wow I haven't written in a long time again.  I just wanted to quickly share something I'm looking forward to. 

I love Advent and Christmastime.  I am thinking about it as soon as the school year starts back up and how to make it meaningful for my family. 

One little tradition we've been doing for several years now is a Reverse Advent Calendar.

We are all familiar with the chocolate Advent calendars where each day you open a door and GET a little chocolate.  Well, a reverse Advent calendar does the opposite. Each day you GIVE something.  In this case non perishable food!  It's very simple and here's all you need to do. 

1. Choose a local food pantry or county food share you'd like to support. Our church runs a large food pantry so we donate there. 
2. Find out what the most needed items are at the food pantry.
3. Print out a blank December calendar (lots of free options online).  
4. On each day write which item will get donated (or placed in the donation bag). 
5. If you have multiple kids and they'd be likely to fight over whose turn it is, write first initials on each day to rotate through. You can let kids mark off their day once complete. 
6. Then, start collecting a few extra food items to stock your pantry with.  I have a designated shelf where I collect these items and each day the designated kid goes and finds this item to add to the bag.
7. LASTLY, donate the items!  We do this each Sunday at church but you could save it all to donate at once or however works best. 

Last year's calendar. Teens and younger kids alike are asked to participate. 

Last month I had our new December calendar printed out and updated with the current most-needed items at our food pantry of choice.  We do have a variety of conversations about food scarcity, leveraging our resources and giftings to benefit others, the importance of helping other people even if we don't know them, and being grateful for what we have.  It's a small and simple thing but for a split second it pulls us all to think of others and not just ourselves.  Overindulgence is at a high during the holidays so any way to 'reverse' that is a worthy endeavor in my opinion. 

Happy Advent!

Confessions of a SAHM: 13 ideas from 13 years on the job

My oldest of four turned 13 this past summer and besides meaning that I now have a teenager in the house, I realized that also means I've been a stay at home mom for 13 years now! Inconceivable! I've contemplated going back to work at various points, but home always calls to me.  Here are my top 13 ideas from 13 years on the "job".

 

1.     First and foremost, you must have a vision and a resolve that time can be more valuable than money.  We’ve never regretted cutting our income in half despite financially tight seasons.  The benefits of more time with my kids, more time to “keep things running” and create a peaceful home, and more time to care for my husband and neighbors are insurmountable. Embracing the idea that time is valuable must come first.  Also, a penny saved is a penny earned.  We sometimes joke about all the people my husband would need to hire to do my jobs for me.  With that in mind, here are some practical ideas.

 

2.     Keep a budget.  As Andy Stanley says, “You got to be knowing where your money is going”.  If you don’t keep track, you will probably overspend or be much less intentional. Keep track and leave as much margin as possible. Itemize the things that are musts to your family.  Tithing, housing, utilities, groceries, etc. If this is new to you, start the first month with just keeping track. At the end of the month you can see how you did and adjust accordingly.  There are many online tools and surely apps.  We use a free tool on our laptop.

 

3.     Drink water.  It’s cheap.  And healthier.

 

4.     Make your own coffee.  Sorry Starbucks.  We have an old Mr. Coffee pot at our house. My husband uses a thermos or travel cup for work. This saves us so much money.

 

5.     Fall in love with second hand.  Thrift shops and garage sales (and many online pages now a days) are a great way to stretch your dollar. Plus, it’s eco-friendly.  I much prefer to get clothing and toys second hand whenever possible. I think when I was a kid I was a thrift store snob.  I thought they smelled funny or something. Now they are my favorite place and visiting them with my kids can be an adventure. Getting to college and being on my own, I think, is when I decided my dollars lasted much longer at a second hand store than at a mall.  

 

6.     Lower your standard of living.  See #5. You don’t need to buy everything new.  You can use furniture that doesn’t match.  Have a boring haircut that doesn’t require a stylist. Paint your own nails. You can go without something if you need to or ignore trends and fads.

 

7.     Be a minimalist! Learn to love less stuff.  Declutter. Donate to others. There are hundreds of research articles out there about why less stuff is better for our mental health.  Don’t *buy* into retail therapy.  Consider large purchases for a time before making them. Less is more.  One of my favorite verses from studying the book of Ecclesiastes in the bible is 4:6 “Better one handful with tranquility than two handfuls with toil and chasing after the wind.” I’ve always compared “one handful” to one income and being content with that over having two incomes and having to burn the candle at both ends to keep up with it all. 

 

 

8.     Don’t try to keep up with the Jones’.  It’s ok to be different.  It often means you won’t “fit in” but I have grown to really be ok with that.  Do things differently. 

 

9.     Meal planning.  Print a calendar.  Get an app.  Whatever your forte is.  Making a plan not only simplifies my days and reduces my daily decisions, but in planning you will significantly lower impulse buys and last-minute food purchases.

 

10.  Make food at home.  This is huge! More than I ever remember in early parenting years, food is so expensive!  Make meals at home.  Prepare snacks and pack them on an outing.  Besides the obvious financial benefit, this strategy also naturally provides much more time around the dinner table as a family.  We eat dinner together nearly every night. I appreciate this time together.  

 

11.  Use the library.  We are a family of book worms.  We do own plenty of our own books, but we regularly have 75+ books checked out from the library.   Our library also lets you check out movies for free, too!  This saves us an astronomical amount of money, gives us access to more than we choose to afford, and also keeps us from being complete book hoarders and getting lost in stacks of books.

 

12.  DIY.  This does require time.  You don’t have to do everything yourself but pick a few things.  We make our own laundry detergent.  I cut my kids’ hair and style my daughter’s hair at home. I make the majority of our beans instead of buying them in a can.  I make homemade pizza weekly instead of buying it.  Stuff like that. I believe that little things do add up.   

 

 

13.     Learn to love simple and keep the big picture in mind.   I do wonder every once in a while if my kids would have preferred more restaurants, vacations, and name brand clothing to what we have offered them all these years.  If they would have preferred just more or wanted something different. Our lifestyle is often different than their peers’. It’s not unusual for us to have an extra kid, or more recently, a whole family, staying with us.  Are we completely insane?  But as my first baby is now a teenager, independent, taller than me, etc. I do see that I will never get that time back and I look back at my years at home and don’t regret them.  I cherish them. Despite my imperfections and quirks, I pray that my kids will always know how much I deeply and intentionally love them.  I think of giving up my professional life only occasionally. I have kept my teaching license.  I have options.  But time with people.  Space to bring in others.  These, to me, are life’s true treasures and I’m very grateful. 

 

 

                                     

7 LOCAL Ways To Waste Less

 OK LOCAL FRIENDS!!

I am not, by any means, a zero waste person.  But I AM passionate about resource utilization, creative recycling, and throwing a way just a little bit less.  We challenge our family of 6 to use the smallest trash bin.  We've come up with a list in case you want some local ideas!

7 LOCAL Ways To Waste Less 

1)Utilize your curbside bins to the fullest.  This one is huge! In our neighborhood, we have a trash bin, a blue mixed recycling bin (what's allowed has changed in recent years- check out the current list), a green food compost and yard debris bin, and a red recycling crate.  Where we live we can even recycle all food waste and plain paper napkins/paper plates that aren't coated in your yard debris bin.  See comprehensive list here.  There is probably more that you can recycle than you realized! You might be surprised that you can even recycle household batteries with your glass in the red crate!

Don't throw these away!

Compost these! Or use them broken up in pieces around 
plants in your garden to deter slugs.

Compost your coffee filters, coffee grounds and all!  These also make 
great (dry) snack bowls.  Less dishes and then my kids can just throw 
them in the compost. 

2) Donate to a thrift store:  Goodwill, Union Gospel Mission store, Teen Challenge, and more.  There are plenty of places to donate usable items that you don't need anymore.  It gives others a chance to buy them at a more affordable price and also helps create jobs. 

3) Donate things on your neighborhood's BuyNothing page via Facebook: I like to give away unique items on my neighborhood's BuyNothing page on Facebook.  You can post items that you don't need and arrange to gift them to a neighbor.  You can also request items on this page!  Everything is free.

4) Recycle unusable cloth/clothing items at UGM:  OK...this is a newer discovery for us and very exciting.  I like to donate items.  But we all know kids (and sometimes us grown up!) leave items unusable with rips, stains, etc.  The Union Gospel Mission has a clothing recycling program!! Their website (scroll down to bottom of the page) says this: 

"Our Donation Center accepts ripped, stained, and torn clothing, bags, purses, belts, stuffed animals, hats, and shoes. Worn out items that are ready to be tossed get baled, weighed, and sold for profit. 100% of the money raised from these bales goes toward programs and services UGM offered to men and women experiencing homelessness, and fighting addictions."

In addition to a Goodwill bag, I also have a recycling bag going where we toss really old towels, socks with holes in them, or completely disintegrating clothing (thank you Son), shoes that can't be re worn, etc.  I love that I can keep these things out of the landfill and that, by recycling them, it will benefit our homeless mission,  

5) Recycle Styrofoam at Fresh Start Market:  I generally avoid styrofoam like the plague but it does often come in packaging so it's just not avoidable sometimes.  It isn't biodegradable and takes some 500 years to decompose.  However, there is a local place you where you can recycle it!!  Fresh Start Market has styrofoam recycling bins at the back of their business. It does require you saving it and bringing it there but we find it worth the work. I tell my husband- instead of flowers, my love language is totally him recycling my styrofoam for me LOL. 

6) Donate your toilet: This is probably not a very frequent need, but we moved over a year ago and are finally working on replacing the toilets.  What is one supposed to do with a working toilet?? Donate it of course.  You can call Bargain Barn in town and see if they will take more toilet donations.  

7) Recycle deposit cans/bottles at a Bottle Drop.  We have three different Bottle Drop sites in Salem. Find the one most convenient to you.  They assign you an account and coordinating bags. You fill it up with deposit bottles and cans. When it's full you drop off the bag and credit goes into your account.  If getting to a Bottle Drop is too much work many people collect them for fundraisers and some schools even have customized bags/accounts that they will give out for you to fill and drop off. 

There you have it!! Do you have other ideas to add?? 

Happy resource utilization. 😊

A frugal, screen-free summer

Tomorrow is the last official day of summer break.  It's bittersweet for me.  I really like having all of my kids together and home.  It can be chaotic but it's mostly good.  They love to be together (majority of the time ;) Some parents can't wait for school to start, but I am already looking forward to the first day off of school.


I was feeling like summer slipped away from us and that we didn't do anything exciting but then I remember that the mundane moments together are the best ones.  Fancy vacations don't make up the ideal summer.  Time together does.  Big vacations just aren't something we've chosen to do.  But I would trade almost any vacation for the ability to stay home right now.  I know my husband feels the same.   I realized it was a blessed summer and I wish I could freeze time and stare at my kids: ages 2, 4, and 7.  It's an exhausting season, but I do love their ages.  They don't have a myriad of their own activities yet.  They mostly played in the dirt and read books all summer.  They are entertained easily, make up all sorts of projects and pretend play, and they still like being with me.  I know they won't always want to curl up on the couch with me for endless stories or ask for countless pushes on the swing (I have 2/3 pumping on their own- WIN!).  In between bouts of utter exhaustion I try to soak up the moments.  Albeit they may be short on difficult days, those moments are the gems of parenthood.

I gave up social media this summer. I almost forgot about it actually, except when I'd miss out on some sort of information.  Of course any extra free time I may have had was filled up with my kids  but it has been a nice break. Odd as it may sound, TV is not a part of our day either.  I just feel there are better ways for kids to spend their time if possible.  We do watch shows sometimes (like when de-tangling little sis' hair, getting hair cuts, when Mom is tutoring, or while sick, etc.) or have a movie night occasionally- but not having a TV in our living room helps to not make it a habit. The kids rarely ask. They're too busy building extravagent Lego or Duplo creations, practicing card tricks, reading books, or getting dirty.

We started the summer by turning our garage into an art and craft studio.  Our cars didn't mind being parked in the driveway for a couple weeks in the name of creative play.  Sometimes I planned projects- like this fun frozen paint above.

 Other times, I just let them use random supplies to create random masterpieces.

 It usually involved a lot of string and tape, but they had fun.  We displayed our projects in the garage (not in the house- yay!) all summer.  I am definitely looking forward to doing this again.  It did require losing garage space and bringing out all the craft supplies but it was fun.  I think my toddler will be more able to participate next year.

  

We did the library's reading club to log some hours.  I stopped keeping track at 30 hours for my oldest two.  Littlest one of the fam found a love for Look-and-Finds this summer.  At bedtime she would often request her oldest brother to read to her (Te Te read Elmo?)   

 We did get to spend a few different days at the coast.  We discovered a fun short hike that the boys   could do. 

 Maybe next year Ruby will walk it, but this year she got to ride with Dad.  I think my kids like fresh air almost as much as I do :)

 We got lucky with a beautiful non-windy day at the beach.


There was some slip-n-sliding on the hot days.

One of my fun memories also includes the mini summer homeschool I planned, mostly for my oldest son but the younger participated some days too. I specifically planned this to happen when my toddler had her short nap time.  Sometimes we did structured math, reading in two languages, and writing while other days we'd do fun projects and not mention that they were learning activities.

 Dad read us The Boxcar Children #1 this summer.  Such a great story of siblings taking care of each other and having adventures. I was happy to read wholesome literature like this. We were so inspired that we made our own boxcar diorama complete with rusty paint, fire pit, and waterfall.

I also set up a "Saturday Market" downstairs for school time.  We priced all the food from the play kitchen.  I gave out pretend bills and real coins in a cup and they had to buy things.  Differentiated based on level but it was so fun to see their money skills increase and that they had fun.

I liked spending time at the pool for swim lessons, on bikes, at playgrounds, hosting a backyard VBS, etc...but I also enjoyed just time at home seeing the kids play.  I really am a fan of letting kids have a lot of down time and unstructured play time.  I think kids, in general, are way too busy.  Check out that article I linked from Positive Parenting. So much research is coming out about kids being over scheduled.  So while I liked to plan projects, lessons, and outings, those really took up a small portion of our days.  The rest were filled with dirt from the backyard, books, Legos, markers, and really anything.  It's a nice age because they have never told me, "I'm bored".  Not yet anyways lol.

Summer wasn't 100% peachy.  We had a plethora of things break on us and a lot of $$ in repair costs.  We had a couple fever viruses that interrupted our camping trips.  We are still dealing with some health issues for our youngest. But God is good, all the time. Life is rich. There is beauty in simple things and this summer, God has been teaching me to be content. 

August purging challenge!!

I first heard of this "game" from a friend via facebook.  I didn't really consider doing it as I tend to always be de-cluttering and organizing, etc.  But I needed a project and some motivation to get rid of some things, get organized, and start the new school year fresh. Managing the resources for an entire family can be a big task.  I feel burdened by too much stuff and it's nice have a goal to work toward.

The game came from this website:

http://www.theminimalists.com/game/

Basically, you get rid of one thing on August 1st, two things on August 2nd, three things on Aug. 3rd....all the way until 31 items on August 31st.  So by the end of the month you have gotten rid of 496 items. The website didn't have many ideas or "rules" so we are making up our own and you could, too.

For example- what counts as one item?  That depends on you and your habits.  My husband and I decided not to count recycling junk mail as an item because this is something we do every day just as maintenance organizing.  BUT....if you tend to collect piles of junk mail then you certainly should count this as an item.  We are counting a magazine box of shredding as an item, however, or getting rid of stuff that is filed away (haven't gotten to the filing cabinets yet!).  Getting rid of a puzzle is one item. 

They don't have to be large items.  Could be as simple as expired medicine, old nail polish, expired spices, etc.  Could be larger things like clothing, books, toys, etc. that you don't need or use.  

What do you do with all of these things?  You can donate, sell, recycle, or trash them, We probably won't be selling things this time.  Doing our adoption fundraiser garage sales gave us opportunity to sell anything of real value.  But you could do a garage sale, sell on Craig's List, donate to a thrift store, foster care clothing closet (if it's something nice quality), or give away to a friend.  We've been blessed by a lot of generous hand me downs for kid stuff over the years!

So it's August 2nd.  We started a day early and are on to day 15.  We decided we could work ahead as we have more time. I'm keeping track on a spreadsheet we made.  It will get harder as the day number gets larger.  We have a small storage room that we hope to tackle this month but so far haven't dug deep to purge.  This is our first home and although we have lived here 7 year now- I got all the stuff from my childhood delivered via parents, all my teaching stuff, etc...and just a few months after we moved in we had our first baby.  Three challenging babies later we just never seem to have a big chunk of time lol.

So why do this?

Well as a Jesus follower, especially as an American Jesus follower in a consumerist, materialist culture....I feel I am constantly having to fight against the lie that we need more stuff.  That stuff equals happiness.  That "Keeping up with the Joneses, American dream, Let's get a bigger house" mindset that we so often fall into.  It's definitely a "First World Problem" to have too much stuff but one we still need to address.

Now I'm not saying that I am a hoarder.  My friends would probably say I'm a pretty organized person, content with simple things.  But it's still something I want to be intentional about.  

 Matthew 6:19-21 says this:
 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. “But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

Also, Proverbs 3:9-10 says  
"Honor the Lord with your wealth,

with the firstfruits of all your crops;

then your barns will be filled to overflowing,

and your vats will brim over with new wine."

 

 As a Christian, I believe anything I have is from God and that I should be diligent in using my resources wisely.  Sometimes I dream of going into politics just to help the politicians fix the budgets and use the resources better! Or I dream of working on that show Hoarders or of becoming a professional organizer.  But, alas, right now I have my family of 5 and our 1700 sq. ft home to manage.  Pray I do so wisely!

Will you join us in this purging game?

UPDATE: 10/1/16
We finished August early and decided to do it again in September.  Life happened and we didn't quite finish September yet but we WILL finish...just a little late.  This month takes a little more digging and creativity.  Finding a music teacher at a low income high school who might need that drum practice pad I have had since high school (I'm 33 people!!!).  Getting rid of the art class bag from college (I'm 33!!!)  BuyNothing pages on facebook are nice for finding homes for unique items.  Foster care closet can always use nice kid and youth clothing/blankets in all sizes.  It is rewarding to see how helpful it can be to another family to have the things you no longer use.  No point of hoarding them if we're not using them.  For example we gave away 2 (non expired, nice) car seats to a mom who had just had hers stolen,was low on income, etc.  It was a big help for her and we no longer had them taking up space in our garage.  Why not spread the love?