In love........

Since I spent most of my last blog saying what was difficult about Mateo, this post will focus on how.....
I just love Mateo SO much. He is so precious to us. When he wakes up for the day with a toothy grin and a sweet coo, I melt. When he laughs and plays with us, I melt. When he nestles into your shirt as he gets sleepy and ready for a nap...I melt. When he holds on to our fingers and walks around the house...we are in love. We were watching Mateo feed himself a cheerio the other day and almost started crying....b/c this little baby that could not even eat enough to survive when he was born and had to have a feeding tube that they fed him my milk through...... can now feed himself.

I recently watched Fried Green Tomatoes with some of the ladies from my bible study. I had actually never seen that movie. I know, weird- right? Well if you have seen it... you remember how Ruth's dead-beat husband throws her down the stairs preggo. My blood boiled. Then he came back and wanted to kidnap the baby. My blood boiled even more. Every since Mateo was born, my motherly instinct to protect and defend had kicked in and I hate to see those kind of scenes in movies where the innocent baby is in danger..

I know I can't protect Mateo from everything in life, but that is still every mom's desire. And I can love him.... a lot.

Mommyhood

I was asking Aaron the other day why we had such a difficult baby. He said b/c God knew we could handle it. Aaron's usually right. But I still don't understand. We have been able to handle and endure quite a bit, by God's grace, but I am tired.

• My baby is 9 months old and still doesn't sleep through the night. Which means that I still don't sleep through the night. The pediatrician and lactation nurse says this is still in the realm of "normal".
  
• He's a finicky eater and most meals are trying unless they involve one of the favorite (banana, sweet potato, or avocado).
• He is not independent and requires a lot of attention. Which means he only plays for 10 minutes at a time by himself w/o needing my intervention.
  
• I have to choose not to do a lot of things b/c I know it's not something that I could bring Mateo to practically.
• He fusses, grunts, cries, etc. WAY more than any baby I have ever met.
  

It's a good thing that he is cute and that he smiles and laughs a lot now. And even though he is not a huge napper, he still takes two fairly regular naps a day- for an hour long or so. Which means I have at least 2 hours of Mateo-free time during the day.... my only saving grace.

I say all these things complaining about my child, but I also feel very fortunate for this bundle of cuteness. I am thankful also that we've tweaked our budget enough for me to be able to stay home full time this year. God has grown Mateo so much from the tiny 4 pound 4 ounce baby into a strong 18 pound baby who will soon be running around the house. Even though he is difficult, I don't think I could love anything any more. The heart of a mother overflows with love for her child. This really makes me understand how much God loves His children...even more than I love my child. AMAZING!

"The Father has loved us so much that we are called children of God. And we really are his children." 1 John 3:1

So I accept this challenge. Through sleep deprivation, hair pulling, biting, crying, and fussiness, I accept the challenge of motherhood....really not knowing what I'm in for in the long run. Maybe when Mateo is a teenager and goes through his "hating the parents" stage, I will wish for those baby days when he was so clingy and wanted so much to be with mommy all day long. Maybe.