Gratitute on a Friday

This afternoon, I packed up my big, red, double stroller with my two precious little boys...and we went for a walk to the nearby school for some playtime.  My stroller finally feels a little lighter now that Alex can sit in there without his car seat.  A little bit of weight lifted so to speak.

The sun, the fresh air, the 30 comments from my 2 7/8 year old toddler, and the beating of my out-of shape heart as I pushed 80+ pounds up a fairly steep hill...

We played on the play structures, ran around the track, went down slides, and laughed. It was glorious.

While walking around we passed a portable classroom and through the window I could see a teacher, still at her desk, hard at work.  Oh how I remember those long days.  Never, ever enough time to get work done during the day. Aaron used to drive up to my school after his last college class most Fridays my first and second year of teaching and clean my overhead, my white boards, and help me with whatever I needed in my classroom. He has always had the gift of helping people. I knew he'd be a keeper. There was always something to prep, to grade, to prepare, to clean.....  I know a lot of great, hard-working teachers. They are invaluable. But right now, I am so very thankful that I'm not one of them.  Right now I'm truly grateful that I don't have to be distracted by a job.  I am resolved to not take these days for granted....these days I am home with my boys. Every day, they are growing up right in front of my eyes.

I often blog about ways to save money because that has become a big part of my job.  Making things myself, clipping coupons, being resourceful, etc. So many things I'm learning.  It can be extra work,  but it's worth it.  And today, all of those little things we do to save money were shown to be overwhelmingly worth it.

Despite the fact that we had traumatic beginnings with both of our boys....  Despite that our experience with parenthood has not been typical.....Despite anything that could have worn us down,  I can see how much stronger Aaron and I have grown as a couple through our trials. I love my little family.  I love that I live with all boys.  I love that my boys adore their daddy.  I adore him myself.

I can breathe a little better these days.  I can look back at the first 8 months of our second baby journey with gratitude that we've come out of it loving each other and loving God more than we thought possible.

³ Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; ⁴ perseverance, character; and character, hope. ⁵ And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

-Romans 5:3-5

Mommyhood

I was asking Aaron the other day why we had such a difficult baby. He said b/c God knew we could handle it. Aaron's usually right. But I still don't understand. We have been able to handle and endure quite a bit, by God's grace, but I am tired.

• My baby is 9 months old and still doesn't sleep through the night. Which means that I still don't sleep through the night. The pediatrician and lactation nurse says this is still in the realm of "normal".
  
• He's a finicky eater and most meals are trying unless they involve one of the favorite (banana, sweet potato, or avocado).
• He is not independent and requires a lot of attention. Which means he only plays for 10 minutes at a time by himself w/o needing my intervention.
  
• I have to choose not to do a lot of things b/c I know it's not something that I could bring Mateo to practically.
• He fusses, grunts, cries, etc. WAY more than any baby I have ever met.
  

It's a good thing that he is cute and that he smiles and laughs a lot now. And even though he is not a huge napper, he still takes two fairly regular naps a day- for an hour long or so. Which means I have at least 2 hours of Mateo-free time during the day.... my only saving grace.

I say all these things complaining about my child, but I also feel very fortunate for this bundle of cuteness. I am thankful also that we've tweaked our budget enough for me to be able to stay home full time this year. God has grown Mateo so much from the tiny 4 pound 4 ounce baby into a strong 18 pound baby who will soon be running around the house. Even though he is difficult, I don't think I could love anything any more. The heart of a mother overflows with love for her child. This really makes me understand how much God loves His children...even more than I love my child. AMAZING!

"The Father has loved us so much that we are called children of God. And we really are his children." 1 John 3:1

So I accept this challenge. Through sleep deprivation, hair pulling, biting, crying, and fussiness, I accept the challenge of motherhood....really not knowing what I'm in for in the long run. Maybe when Mateo is a teenager and goes through his "hating the parents" stage, I will wish for those baby days when he was so clingy and wanted so much to be with mommy all day long. Maybe.