Gratitute on a Friday

This afternoon, I packed up my big, red, double stroller with my two precious little boys...and we went for a walk to the nearby school for some playtime.  My stroller finally feels a little lighter now that Alex can sit in there without his car seat.  A little bit of weight lifted so to speak.

The sun, the fresh air, the 30 comments from my 2 7/8 year old toddler, and the beating of my out-of shape heart as I pushed 80+ pounds up a fairly steep hill...

We played on the play structures, ran around the track, went down slides, and laughed. It was glorious.

While walking around we passed a portable classroom and through the window I could see a teacher, still at her desk, hard at work.  Oh how I remember those long days.  Never, ever enough time to get work done during the day. Aaron used to drive up to my school after his last college class most Fridays my first and second year of teaching and clean my overhead, my white boards, and help me with whatever I needed in my classroom. He has always had the gift of helping people. I knew he'd be a keeper. There was always something to prep, to grade, to prepare, to clean.....  I know a lot of great, hard-working teachers. They are invaluable. But right now, I am so very thankful that I'm not one of them.  Right now I'm truly grateful that I don't have to be distracted by a job.  I am resolved to not take these days for granted....these days I am home with my boys. Every day, they are growing up right in front of my eyes.

I often blog about ways to save money because that has become a big part of my job.  Making things myself, clipping coupons, being resourceful, etc. So many things I'm learning.  It can be extra work,  but it's worth it.  And today, all of those little things we do to save money were shown to be overwhelmingly worth it.

Despite the fact that we had traumatic beginnings with both of our boys....  Despite that our experience with parenthood has not been typical.....Despite anything that could have worn us down,  I can see how much stronger Aaron and I have grown as a couple through our trials. I love my little family.  I love that I live with all boys.  I love that my boys adore their daddy.  I adore him myself.

I can breathe a little better these days.  I can look back at the first 8 months of our second baby journey with gratitude that we've come out of it loving each other and loving God more than we thought possible.

³ Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; ⁴ perseverance, character; and character, hope. ⁵ And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

-Romans 5:3-5

Our small miracle

You often hear people say, "God is good" or "Praise God" when something goes well or when life is good. Sure....
But the reality is that God is ALWAYS good and we should always praise him. No matter what. Period. There is no condition to his goodness and it's one of those things that gets on my nerves. God is good in all situations, even the tough ones. Even more so in the bad ones, I think, because we have to rely on his goodness and grace to see us through those situations. This is Mateo in his isolette @ the NICU (4 lbs 4 oz. born at 32 weeks and 1 day gestation)

Tomorrow is when Mateo should've turned 18 months...the big 1 1/2. Instead, he is almost 20 months old and a happy, thriving toddler.

From 4 to 24 pounds, we are daily thankful for the little boy that he has become. In the pictures below, he is holding a teddy bear that is wearing one of his preemie outfits....
You don't always know why things happen as they do, or for what purpose, but this much is true: that God uses all things...

^"2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. " James 1:2-3

It is really hard for me to look at NICU pictures of Mateo. But I do it anyways b/c even though it is sad for me to see my baby like that, it also makes me overflow with thankfulness for how far he has come. He was not the "angel" baby that some brag about, nor is he the most independent of toddlers, but we love him. Just like he is. Just how God created him.

He is growing up more every day and I can now honestly say that I enjoy being with him all day (even though 5:30pm often doesn't come soon enough ;) He loves to help me with everything from putting things in the trash or recycling, folding diapers, sweeping the kitchen, organizing toys, etc. He no longer cries for 12 hours a day, he falls asleep on his own, sleeps through the night, has 16 teeth and a new haircut, laughs a lot, loves to watch animals in the back yard, could eat his weight in bread and raisins, does all my couponing with me, is in love with his daddy, and loves to give kisses on the cheek.

Mateo = gift from God.
This we know to be true.