Reflections of a career woman turned Stay-at-home-mom...

So, in all honesty, I was only a "career woman" for 4 years.  Plus 4 years of undergraduate work before that and 3 years of graduate work while I was teaching.  The college and career time was full of great and wonderful experiences that helped shape who I am.  I am very thankful for having been able to finish school debt free, work for 4 years to save a down payment on our home, etc.  So many good things about working and all of that.  But it was very consuming.

And I realized today, on my oldest son's 4th birthday.  I've officially been a Stay-at-home-mom for as long as I was a teacher!!  Teacher for 4 years; Homemaker for 4 years.  They're tied.  Seemed like I just turned in my resignation letter to the school district last week. Four years and 2 1/2 kids later (we are in the adoption process for those of you that didn't know- for kiddo #3)..... I am thankful for the decision Aaron and I made. Yes, I'll probably teach in some capacity in the future and I'm going to keep my license up to date, but God has given me a different passion and desire right now.

Being home hasn't been easy.  It's been painfully challenging and gut wrenching at times, joyful and fun at others, but we have the swing of things most of days and it's going pretty well- albeit exhausting. And, somehow, I love it.  God has taught me much about relying on him and less on myself.  I love being able to get my babies up in the mornings, tuck them in for their naps, read them 5,000 stories, read the children's bible, do Resurrection Eggs, do preschool lessons, push them on the swings in our backyard for 2 hours..., take them to WinCo, and kiss their boo boos.  I love to be the one taking care of them one they're sick even though it's exhausting, the one to rock the colicky baby even though it's painful to listen to, and the one they share every random exciting story with throughout the regular days and fun days alike.  I love doing my husband's laundry (remember- I also wash cloth diapers so this is my measure...;)- thankful for his presence to make all those dirty clothes, I love having dinner almost ready when he walks in from a long day away from home, and I love managing the home as time consuming as it is!

Some people don't think stay at home moms work.  If you're one of them, come job shadow me for a week and maybe you'll change your mind.  There are no days off; every day is the same.  You're always on duty, always in demand, and always meeting other people's needs.
And yes, there's the money issue- or lack thereof.  Halving your income cut in half isn't the easiest thing to do.  But God has taught us many things during the last 4 years about contentment, gratitude, generosity, living with less, global needs of the church, etc.  One of my favorite quotes from an Andy Stanley Podcast is,
"When you become more aware of the needs of others, you become less focused on what you don't have."  And oh so true is that. 

I know not everybody wants or has the opportunity to be at home, but the fact that I blinked and my 4 pound tiny baby turned 4... it goes by fast (though it seems slow) and I know we will never regret the seemingly large monetary sacrifices made during this season of our family life so that I could be home to take care of my hubby and babies.  It does get exhausting to make these "so called" monetary sacrifices, but when I really think about it, I know how ridiculous it is that.....

 -NOT eating out, or
-NOT buying myself new clothes, or
-NOT going to salons
-NOT using disposable diapers 
-NOT going on a lot of vacations etc.
_________fill in the blank

is even considered a sacrifice.  That is such an American culture mindset.  And those things don't even affect my kids negatively at ALL.  There are so many mamas out, in our country and even more so in developing countries, who are fighting for their lives and just to feed their kids.  Just so they don't starve.  Eating a wholesome meal at home instead of paying somebody else to cook it?  A sacrifice?  Yes if you use facebook where everybody posts all the restaurants they're eating at.  No, if you really think about it. 

Any sacrifice really seems 100% worth it when you get to take care of and shepherd these two goofballs all day long.  Learning a lot about the ministry of motherhood these days and feeling very grateful.                                                           (Mateo and Alex, here 3 1/2 and 1 1/2)

TV alternatives?

I don't think television is inherently evil.  

I do, however, think lots of things are better. We tend to reserve TV time for when someone is really sick (i.s. stomach flu = Mateo gets approved cartoons all day), while at Grandma's, or for another special activity together.  Plus, until recently, Alex- now 19 months, didn't really notice the TV so he could have cared less. 

While there are programs out there that we'd consider educational or at least entertaining, and we have a couple that we love (i.e. Baby Einsten, Curious Geroge), not many would dispute the fact that nothing can beat real-life play time or interaction.

That said, I know parents need a break.  I am with my kids all day.  I can't play with them every second of the day. Some days I think my life would be easier if I just put the TV on for them all day.  But we don't want to do that.  Here are a few things that we enjoy and that keep the boys busy:

1.  ROTATING TOYS

Things with wheels toy box

Most of our toys are organized in the boys' closets which are locked closed for little people.  Maybe I'm a control freak or maybe I just really like organization, but I can't handle having all the toys out at once.  I'll rotate the toys a couple times a week (or when Mateo asks) and it's fun to watch the boys find new ways to play with them.  The unspoken rule is that if Mateo wants to get out his Lincoln Logs, his Mega Blocks, his K'Nex, etc....then we put something else away.  Plus, I don't mind when they can dump their toys out and make a "mess" when there aren't as many toys out to be messy with.  This helps a LOT. Having a rotation for toys also really boosts their desire to play with their toys. 

Mateo is almost always up before Alex and sometimes he'll see a "new" box of toys and get busy playing while I get breakfast ready.  

2.  LISTENING STATION: 

Yes, our listening station is very old school.  But I have some books on tape, the libraries still carry books on tape, and Mateo really likes it.  I'm sure there are books on CD if you want something more 21st century and I know there are lots of new-age electronic things from Leap Pads to iPads but there's something wonderful about the lack of a screen in this listening station.  Mateo knows how to use our iPod touches, has mastered the touch screen, and they do come in handy when he comes along to my appointments or on long car rides, but this is different.

Sometimes he has the attentions span to sit down and turn the pages while the story reads.  Other times he just likes to listen to the story while he plays or colors.  And, I must say, listening to the story without the book is just as great because it really fine tunes his listening comprehension (yes, I still have a classroom teacher brain sometimes ;) A great part of this is that Mateo can select, rewind, and play the tapes all by himself.  Yay!

3.  COLOR/CUT/CREATE:
This "station" has definitely morphed as Mateo has gotten older and as Alex has gotten taller.  It is now at our highest surface possible- up at the counter (like a breakfast bar) in the kitchen.  Mateo has his little caddy with scissors, stickers, all sorts of utensils, and paper.  It's accessible all the time.   Sometimes when I'm cutting out my coupons he gets the inserts that have already been cut from and finds cool pictures to make a collage. We do painting and other projects on occasion, but this is something he can do all by himself.

4.  PLAY OUTSIDE:
I don't really let the boys play outside when it's cold. They seem to get sick easily and just don't seem to have the strongest immune systems.  So while this may not be the best option in cold weather, now that the spring weather is coming out in full beauty, we spend a lot of time outside.  Swings, slides, walks, kicking a ball, digging in the dirt, finding clovers, acorns,  (or _____), drawing with chalk, etc.   The boys are at a great age to play together outside.  Babies are much harder (in my opinion!) so last summer wasn't as easy!

Mateo digging up moss in our grass, haha.

5.  PLAY WITH YOUR KIDS:
Sometimes my kids just want my full attention.  They want me to play WITH them and not just be NEXT TO them.  Although I know it's hard to sometimes give up my agenda or productivity, it's great for them.  Plus, I think they learn new ways to play with toys when we play with them.  They are more creative and more imaginative.

Playing at the nearby elementary school play ground that is walking distance from our home. We found daisies, poked dirt with twigs, climbed on stuff, and other fun things

6.  READ BOOKS:
Mateo has an odd attentions span for listening to books.  We've been reading a chapter book lately that I was sure he wouldn't like, but he kept begging for more.  We go regularly to the public library and our church library to find some new gems.  Plus, I have a lot of books myself from childhood and teaching days.  We rotate those too ;)  Sitting down to read a book with Mateo:  definitely his love language (quality time!).  He also loves telling oral stories at nap and bedtime and I love seeing his imagination bloom.  Alex is just barely getting to the stage where he'll sit and listen to a book.  It's exciting to me that he's not eating them anymore haha.


7.  PLAN A LESSON:
We've really enjoyed doing preschool at home this year.  Doing preschool with my friend and her kiddos on occasion this year provided some extra accountability in planning.  It was also way more fun and added some cooperative learning.  Regardless of the specifics, it is fun to engage Mateo in intentional learning times and then see the learning unfold in play time later in the day.  And sometimes, Alex likes to join in as he can too!

8.  PLACE YOUR TV STRATEGICALLY:
What also keeps us from having the TV on more than we do is the fact that we don't have a television in our main living room.  Our split level home is a funny layout that I've come to love over the last 4 years.  So, our downstairs den houses our TV and it's just not somewhere we hang out a lot of the time.  We spend most of our time at home upstairs.  We do have a small TV in our master bedroom- so on some occasions I can utilize that TV for the boys.  Plus, Aaron and I are just kind of weird and we don't make time- like ever- to watch TV when the boys are awake.  If we watch a movie or a show (Psych is our fav) it's later in the evening when they are asleep. Oh, and without cable, options are limited.


So, as I said at the beginning, I don't think TV is inherently evil, but I really appreciate it not being a part of our daily routines.  Mateo might watching something once or twice a week, but it's not every day all the time blaring over stimulation in his face.  Kids are only little kids once.  I say, let them play! 

Our Easter Tree

I love lent.  I love it even more than Advent and Christmastime.  Although their are bunnies and chicks and the commercialism like anything, there is not near the hype or expectations of Christmas. 

Last year I learned about Resurrection Eggs and made a set for our family.  Basically, it's 12 items that tell the story of Jesus as he prepares for the cross up until his resurrection!
It's been quite fun this year as Mateo is a whole year older and can really understand the story at a new level.  I must say that he knows more about the bible at age 3 than I did as a teen. A child's zeal for the things of God really puts it all in perspective!  He does Awana at church and they memorize a bible verse every week.  Who knew a 3 year old could memorize scripture! Something about hiding God's word in your heart!  I pray often that all the head knowledge that he's been gleaning will soon become heart knowledge.  He is gettting it.

In addition to our Resurrection Eggs, I learned of the idea of an Easter Tree.  Last year, a friend posted about an idea that she found from a website about making an Easter Tree with small branches and I was intrigued.  The devotional was for adults, though, and I didn't care for the pictures they used.

So, to keep it simple and kid friendly I made simple picture ornaments to correspond with our resurrection eggs.
Last summer I found a small Easter Tree (who knew they even existed?!) at a garage sale for $1.00 so come Lent I was eager to make this project a reality.

It has become the centerpiece of our dinner table along with a couple of children's bibles and, of course, our set of Resurrection Eggs. 

I have been pleasantly surprised at how much Mateo has enjoyed reading the bible stories and hanging up the ornaments.  I had originally intended on doing this throughout the whole season of Lent, but it took me longer than I thought it would to find time to make the ornaments so we've been doing them just over the last couple of weeks.  For a 3 year old, a shortened Lent has been just fine :)

Here are the different ornaments we used based off our Resurrection Eggs.  You could use whatever ornaments you want to help tell the story and boost understanding. 

 1.  The donkey/ Triumphant entry

 2. Thirty Silver Coins/ Judas' Betrayal

3. Cup/ Last Supper

 4.  Garden of Gethsemane

 5. Whip














6. Crown of Thorns












7. The cross/ crucifixion












8.  Casting Lots / Dice

 9.  The spear











 

 10.  Linen Cloth/ Burial

 11.  The tomb/ Burial


 









    12.  The empty tomb/ Resurrection

For each ornament I just found pictures on google images and printed each twice so the ornaments would be double sided.  I then pasted them on construction paper, hole punched them, and added some yarn. To help my memory, I numbered each one and added the scripture reference.  I think it's valuable to bring out an "adult" bible sometimes to read the passages and Mateo also loves finding his Awana memory verses in my bible. Maybe in years to come this tradition will morph and change.  We'll do a fun Easter/Resurrection story project at our preschool co-op this coming week. 

We did one about every other day, though some days I couldn't resist the longing eyes of my almost 4 year old to do "just one more".  So we just finished with all of the ornaments today, though I'm sure we'll be doing the Resurrection Eggs every day until Easter.  I love hearing Mateo help me tell the story to the cross.  I love how he says "Jesus prayed in the Garden of Semany" haha.  I am thankful for the opportunity to help shepherd a child's heart.

The big news...

The biggest news on the homefront is that we are adopting!!

I may talk about it some on here, but we started a blog/website about our journey.


You can read all about it here:  HaradaAdoptionJourney.

Big adventures ahead!

Barber Shop

Living on a budget is a lot about watching your monthly expenses and often times reducing them. We're always learning new ways to rock the one-income lifestyle.  My newest venture is cutting Mateo's hair.

We've always gotten his hair cut at Great Clips.  However, to be brutally honest, they don't do a great job.  I don't know what kind of training the staff has or anything...but we've just never been that happy with the cuts and it only takes them a few minutes.  A child's haircut costs $11 plus a tip and that's the cheapest place for a hair cut besides the beauty college which we've thought of trying since they are only $4.99 there.  But, again, if I'm paying for a mediocre haircut I might as well do it myself, right?

 First, I set up a barber shop in our master bathroom.  I brought in the lap top and found a Mickey Mouse Clubhouse on You Tube. I also brought a tiny star shaped bowl full of chocolate chips in for a special treat.  I wanted it to be fun for him.

 I got out Aaron's clippers and scissors, comb, spray bottle, little broom, etc.  We also have a cape thing that can be worn.

 Next up add the 3 1/2 year old to the picture, get him ready with his cape on, and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse playing in the background.  Last time we were at Great Clips they buzzed his hair pretty short at #4.  So, I decided to be conservative and go with a #5.  I also used scissors around his ears, in the front, and in the back.  I used the clippers a tiny bit in the back as well.  I don't really know what I'm doing (yet) but I have watched him get many haircuts and decided to give it a whirl.  If he wants a more stylish haircut when he gets older I can maybe teach myself to give a scissor cut.  For now he's 3 and could care less about his hair. 

All done! He's looking sharp. 

So, I'm pretty excited to be able to cut Mateo's hair now. I may even be brave enough to try Alex's hair next.  I might strap him in the high chair, though, as he would not stay put in the bar stool like Mateo.  I think I would do a #6 on him so it isn't as short as Mateo's. 

I could potentially save $25 with each time I cut both my sons hair. Since I'm that kind of math geek, I did do the math.  If the average boy has his haircut every 6 weeks...that's 8.6 hair cuts a year., or $217 a year!! If Aaron ever lets me cut his hair again (see below), that's an additional $15-20 we'd save each time.

WARNING: Do make sure that you have the right number of clipper on before beginning.  Double check.  Triple check.  Quadruple check.  Especially if you're "practicing" on your husband who has a professional job and has to go to work the next day.  Because if you don't...you may think you have a #4 on but you might actually have nothing on and do this...

I feel bad for whoever that guy is.

Lunch on the go....

Packing a lunch.  Often a daunting task.  I don't pack lunches for myself anymore- but my husband brings a lunch with him 5 days a week. There's always the question of what to pack.  One thing that he likes to pack sometimes is a salad.  But a big guy like him isn't going to get filled up by lettuce or spinach alone.  Sometimes I'll defrost a small container of homemade garbanzo beans. Other times I will add some chickens to "beef" up his salads.  I don't have time to make chicken for him every day and usually we're packing his lunch at night when we're in a hurry.  So..... here is the solution we've come up with over the last year:

I buy a large pack of fresh (not frozen) chicken at the grocery store. This time it was about 3 1/2 pounds of fresh meat.

 I cut it into pieces, add some onion, a touch of garlic, kosher salt, pepper, and some parsley.  You could season yours however you like. I roasted it in the oven at 375 for about an hour (this will vary, of course, with your oven and how much chicken you cook).

 Once it's cooked ans has had time to cool off, I cut it into bite-size pieces.  I love using my kitchen shears instead of a knife, personally.

Last, I measure out a small portion into a zip lock baggie with the date written in sharpie.
I did a heaping 1/2 cup, though the portion could be smaller or larger depending
on what you're serving it on.

And.... TA DA!!! Fourteen small bags of chicken thrown into the freezer for Aaron's lunches. I roasted this while feeding the boys lunch and putting them down for naps.  Then once they were down I could cut and package it. 

 ADDITIONAL  NOTES:

*In addition to salads, we might add this to leftover rice (or quinoa) and vegetables as well. 

**Besides being convenient and healthier, packing your own lunch to work saves OOODLES of money!  $$$$$

Advent Calendar: A Christ-filled Christmas

I really enjoyed the Advent and Christmas season this year.  It didn't feel rushed or hectic and I really liked getting to see friends and family more than usual. Besides 3/4 people in our family needing anti-biotics this month...and 4/4 visiting the doctor at some point, I had some God-given peace and joy having my family all together and just enjoying the season of anticipating Christ's birth.
We try to keep Christmas fairly simple and as meaningful as possible.  Christmas is about Christ.  It's not about presents or decorations or cookies.  Those things can be fun, but I don't want them to be the only focus of the season. Mapping out a budget and doing a little bit of planning on how we'll be spending some time helped take away a lot of stress.

One fun tradition that helps keep our focus during December is the refrigerator Advent Calendar. I originally got this idea from a blog a couple of years ago when I was preparing an Advent devotion for some elementary aged students and their families at church.

The blog's ideas were for more of a secular Christmas Countdown but one could easily change the "tasks" on the back of these refrigerator cards and make them a good fit for their own family.  The blog suggested using Christmas numbered scrapbook paper which I actually did find at Michael's and cut out each number to paste on construction paper. You could also just cut up 25 squares of paper and write your numbers on it.  I got magnetic tape at the craft store, too, and used glue stick to glue a small piece on the back of each card.  The adhesive didn't seem to be quite enough to get it to stay.


  You can decorate the cards however you'd like.  Since I was doing this originally in large quantities, I gathered stickers, markers, bows, etc. to let the kids decorate.  You can use whatever you have on hand.  I also had a 26th card with DECEMBER written on it and a bible verse that picked out.  I added little things Mateo had made in Sunday school, our fam pic, the bible verse from our Christmas card, etc. to the fridge as well as a picture of the little girl we sponsor from India.  It was a fun and beautiful refrigerator "scrapbook" and devotion for the month.

 
I went through the gospel story in Luke and also chose a couple verses from the book of Isaiah. All of the tasks were printed on sticker labels and placed on the back.  You could surely do this differently. In the future, as the boys get older, I look forward to changing some of the devotional tasks to be more at their level. For now it was exciting to see Mateo begin comprehending the story of Jesus coming to Earth as a baby.
 I also left about 10 of the cards blank for each family to fill in additional activities that fit with their family. This year I used sticky notes on those blank cards to come up with things that worked with our family's likes and schedule.  I also took into account days off of my husband, which days were on a weekend, etc. 
Here is what's written on the back of each card:



1.  Read Isiah 7:14
Isaiah was written over 600 years before Jesus was born.  What did God promise way back then?

2.  Blank (Below task written on a sticky note)
"Make Gingerbread Houses"

3.  Brainstorm something your family can do (or are doing) this month to show Jesus' love to someone else (using time, money, or resources).

4.  Blank
"Christmas Craft"  Split Pea Christmas Tree**

5. Read Luke 1:26-38
How did Mary respond to the angel?

6. Blank
"Read about Jesus' birth in the big children's bible.  Tell the story of Jesus' birth with the felt set story board" (We were given an awesome set with all of the characters, animals, backgrounds, etc.  Mateo had fun creating the set.  Alex was too young to participate with all the small pieces.  Maybe next year.)

7. Read Luke 1:39-45
Why do you think God chose Mary to be Jesus' mother?

8.  Blank
"Sing Christmas Praise Songs:  1. Silent Night, 2. Joy to the World, 3. Come on Ring those Bells"

9.  Who is someone that would enjoy a letter this month?  Write one and send or deliver it.

10.  Blank
Play the Thankful Game and have prayer time (Play your own variation of this game which let family members take turns saying what they are thankful to God for).

11. Read and discuss Luke 1:46-56

 12. Blank
"Christmas Craft: Make a tissue paper star with the verse Matthew 2:2" ** 


13. What do you think Jesus would want as a "birthday present" as we celebrate his birth this year?

14. Blank
"Write/tell the story of Jesus' birth from the perspective of the stable animals."

15. Read Luke 2:1-7 What do you think Mary and Joseph were feeling.
"Drive around after dinner and look at Christmas lights. Lights can remind us of the star the wise men followed." 

16.  Sketch a picture of what the manger where Jesus was born might have looked like.  What animals do you think were there? 

17. Blank
"Christmas Craft:  Christmas Tree with paper Pattern Block Shapes"**      

18. "Make cookies for the neighbors and deliver them with Christmas cards"

19. Read Luke 2:8-12
What was the great news that was for all people?  Why was it so great?

20.  Blank
"Go visit the capitol and look at the lights"

21. Pray together.  Thank God for sending Jesus to be our savior.

22.  Blank:
"Christmas Craft:  Tree Crayons" **


23. Read Luke 2:13-20 
Where did the shepherds go and find Joseph, Mary, and baby Jesus?

24.  Blank
"Tell the story about Jesus' birth with the felt set story board"

25. "Sing some Christmas praise song such as 1. Silent Night, 2. Joy to the World, and Come on Ring those Bells"

Now of course schedules change, you forget to do the calendar one day, people get sick, and sometimes you BUY cookies to give to your neighbors instead of make them from scratch.  I'm pretty convinced those alterations don't really matter.  The point is being intentional with your family and honoring your God. I'm already looking forward to next year with my boys :)

**Christmas Crafts:

Christmas Tree Crayons We made these as gifts. Check out link for directions.

Split Pea and Lentil Christmas Tree.  Draw a Christmas tree template and use the dried split peas and lentils like glitter. Add a star on top.

Christmas Tree Pattern Block Template.  I came across a neat site that had a variety of templates available to print.  I had a lot of di-cut shapes from my teaching days to glue on tape.  You could cut out your own shapes or even just color it. 

I cut out a star shape from white paper and glued it on black paper.  I wrote the verse Matthew 2:2 in white crayon.  Mateo could either cut or rip pieces of yellow tissue paper and glue them on.  He wanted to rip :)